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| 100 internets to the person who gets this reference |
Wednesday rolls around and I have a day off. Still not interested in riding my bike though. I'm stressed and disappointed. Stressed about moving and disappointed about not doing Uni Games. I was actually so stressed that I didn't change and just slept in my jeans and jacket, on top of my blanket. I just couldn't be arsed getting changed. I didn't even shower, or brush my teeth. Someone make a graph that shows personal hygiene vs stress, quick!
I've been sports betting for the last six months through the TAB. I've been somewhat successful as a part time gambler, but not enough to make a profit. I put $50 in about six months ago, and haven't added money since. I was winning and losing bets, usually placing two or three bets at a time, every other day. I'd lose one and win one every time. My winnings were as high as $50, and as low $10. I was only winning enough to keep placing another one or two $10 bets. Until today. I placed three $10 bets after winning a few soccer bets that had high odds. All three bets lost and my account is now $0.20. No more gambling money! DAMN YOU MULLET!
So it rained all day too. Related? You bet! Regardless, I had some places to see that night. Two were right near each other in Eastwood/Marsfield. I had a list of addresses and phone numbers.
Problem 1: the first place and the third had really similar phone numbers: 0433 xxx 580 and 0433 xxx 580. What the hell? And as you would guess, in this climate of mullets and bad decisions, I mixed them up.
Problem 2: On the way to view the first place, I got a call from someone asking when I was coming because I was late. While driving I flicked through my diary and discovered this one had no address, and so I had forgotten about it! Oops! So I made a detour and headed to this place on the other side of Eastwood. At this stage I was extremely lucky that my housemates had offered me use of their car. If I was on my bike like planned, I'd be fucked right about now!
So I visit this place and it's actually alright. I move to the next one and it's some bullshit Asian sweatshop. So I blow it as quickly as I arrived. But not before getting quizzed about why I'm there and who sent me. As I'm clearly not Asian, I'm a threat. Jerks!
I call the next place as I drive to the street but the person says, didn't you already come here? It still hadn't clicked with me that I had mixed the numbers up. And I responded with, nope! How crazy you say that I've already been there! What's the number? 10, no worries. Look in my diary, 30. Must be the second place, I hope. No worries, let's go to 30. Oh, a construction site? What? Call back: what number again? 10! Oh that's right. I'm at the wrong end of the street, be there in a moment! Drive back to the opposite end of the street. Knock on 10. Someone yells out, "Who are you? What do you want?" I'm here to look at the room? Maybe... "No rooms here for rent, get off my property!" Sorry!
It's dark, it's rainy, maybe it's the house next door. Run around the hedge. Knock Knock! I'm here to look at the room for rent. Yes, here it is. Um, this is really small, what number house is this? 8. Oh, I'm in the wrong house! My landlord didn't tell me you were coming. What's her number. I don't know! Haha! Oops! Haha, bye!
I had just walked into some random house that just happen to have a room for rent!
Run back to the car, start driving. Call the girl again, seriously, what's your street and number? 10 Donovan. Ohhh.... I did view your place about 10 minutes ago. Hahaha!
Suddenly realise while driving that I've been calling the wrong person the whole time. Call the correct person: What's your number? 30. 30 is a construction site! THIIIRRRRRTEEEENNNNN! Oh, be there in a minute.
Drive to 13. It's a bunch of town houses. She didn't give me a unit number. So I stand there at the mail box for a few minutes. There is a lady taking bins out to the curb.
Get a message from the girl at 10 Donovan, when are you coming? Huh? I just told you on the phone that I was mixed up.
I stop and think for a moment. I think about the path of hilarity I've just carved up and down this street. I look at the other side of the street where I had just been at number 30 - construction site, then 10 - random house, 8 - random house with a room to rent, and Donovan street - where I had already been. Look back at the town houses.
Girl doesn't answer phone, send her a message asking which number it is. Clearly, I have no idea. Please respond.
Walk back to car. Put the key in the door to unlock, doesn't unlock. What? What! Try for a few minutes. Nothing! What's going on! Oh, wrong car... I had parked behind a car that was the same model as my housemates!
This whole time the lady taking the bins out was looking at me. I was wearing black tracksuit pants and a black hoodie, AND A FUCKING MULLET! I had been looking at a bunch of houses in the street, running between two of them, tried to get into a random car... Is this guy profiling the street so he can break into the houses!!??
Oh my god. Sit there a few minutes to gather myself. FUCK YOU MULLET! Girl doesn't respond to my message after 5 minutes. Drive home.
Worry that I might die in a car accident on the way home.
Housemates get a good laugh from my room shopping story.
We decide that the mullet NEEDS TO GO.
Go upstairs.
Shave off mullet.
Shower for 30 minutes to remove any trace of mullet and it's influence.
Thursday:
Receive letter in the morning that says we don't have to move out until November 14th - housemate found out that even a hand shake agreement needs six weeks to be evicted. Win! The FIRST win!
The mullet has been removed and straight away a win for team Amazing!
But, is this really the end?
Do I get to attend Uni Games after all?
Will I actually show up at the right place at the right time and find a room worth living in?
Will I ride my bike?
Will I get passed 15,000 vertical metres climbed this month?
Will Brighton and Hove Albion be promoted to the EPL?
Will I sell my Scott Spark 40?
Will religion disappear?
Will I meet the girl of my dreams?
I can only answer yes to the last one. I meet her every night... in my dreams. Sigh.
The end?
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