Broken Hill - The End

I'm back on the job. Ready to be assimilated back into the masses, of 19 people. That's a mass! A trip to Silverton, an out of this world sunset, a massive meatfeast and the trip back to Sydney. On a bus. For 17 hours. I hope you packed your heroin son, you'll need something to pass the time. Will cards do? No. Damn. Well, what if I can't get any heroin? I don't know anyone who could get me heroin. Not my problem, should have thought of that before you left for Broken Hill.
I think this is the first time a dialogue has ever taken place in the summary.





On Friday we had worked hard all day pretty much with little time to relax other than time spent driving. We had dug a number of holes at an abandoned train line - abandoned, damn! - and had a quick hike over to a ridge to look over a never ending landscape.

I still put my hat into the ring as being some kind of investigator as I was able to spot some kangaroos about 500m away in the scrub. Maybe I should quit uni and join the army to be a sniper.

Five years of greenkeeping - five years of retailing (including uni) - five years of shooting things from a distance - then perhaps, five years making ice cream - then five years as a junkie living in Melbourne's Docklands a la Candy.

Me after I eat all the ice cream

Me as a heroin junkie

After this we drove 30-40km out of town towards Perth, and stopped at the pub where Mad Max was filmed or some shit, it wasn't important, and frankly, gay. The pub had cold beer, so that was settled. I drank the beer of South Australia, and you know what? It was alright.

I had worked pretty hard and not really eaten much during the day, so by the time I downed three beers, I was pretty hammered. For all the drinking that had occurred during the week, I had remained sober the entire time - I did get tipsy once. This was the first time I got past tipsy and it was appreciated by everybody. Let's leave the unmentionable actions that occurred in the middle of Australia alone, but I will mention that everyone loves Dubstep.

Just before sunset we abandoned the pub for the Mundi Mundi plains. A magical place at the edge of what we thought was the world, but in fact it was just the edge of the outback. Beyond this was real desert. We were looking across another landscape change that was simply mind blowing. I didn't get to appreciate it so much as I was quite drunk. But I did my best.

I took a bunch of photos on my phone, and I will only give you one.

If you want to see more, you need to go there. Word.

Saturday was our last day and we had a few loose end jobs to complete before afternoon. I actually spent most of my time playing handball. Shit got serious too, we played intermittently for most of the day. But as we progressed and people got their eye in, we had ourselves a tournament. We had a few committee meetings here and there to sort out rules and rule interpretations as we got more and more serious. Probably the most fun I had on the entire trip really. I haven't hit a tennis ball in anger since high school, and neither had a few of the other guys.

The Broken Hill World Handball Championships were on. Luckily I never leave home without my GAME FACE. We played until we literally couldn't see the ball anymore. Good times.

I hope my game face doesn't scare you.

Fuck, you have no idea how hard it is to find pictures of handball. There are over 9000 variations of this game and all of them involving a wall. Dammit! My school didn't have walls, we played 'open court' handball or some such bullocks. Maybe this is what happens to people before they write mundane wiki articles...

Side note? Side note.

While scouring the internet for, stuff, yes, that will do, stuff, I came across this chart:

No seriously, we better start making prescription drugs illegal too! Heaven forbid we outlaw MDMA and heroin because it kills people. End note before rant begins...

Anyway.

After handball, we were off to some pub - The Palace - for dinner and a few beverages. I had three Strongbows and it didn't even tickle. We went home and tried to pass time by cooking several tons of leftover meat and watching Flight of the Conchords. But I was actually really tired from handball (can I laugh in at my own statements in a blog? - I don't think so, but I'll find out and get back to you) - my arms and shoulders were experiencing DOMS.

I regularly lift weights in full uniform. I need to be functional.

I just couldn't stay awake. At 330 the taxis showed up and made quite a fuss for country folk. Apparently we left one person behind which would have been hell funny if no one had realised. I thought we'd be the only people on the bus but I was way off. Bus was pretty full.

I was awake long enough to see us leave town and enter into the void. But a quick rest of my eyes had me out. I came soaring awake sometime after sunrise with the centre of our solar system punching me in the retinas. Dammit!

I had a filthy hang over too. Don't even know why! Three Strongbows didn't even get me ticklish! I felt like arse until we had a breakfast stop at about 9am somewhere I'd rather not remember. I've been drawing these blogs out so much that the trip was like three weeks ago and I've just been making these things up...

Wait, this memory loss is different

The rest of the bus trip wasn't too bad to be honest. After breakfast I did have to piss and or vomit in the toilet on the bus - I didn't end up vomiting. I tell you what, trying to piss on a moving bus is really hard - and I've got good aim. I buddied up with Chris as we cruised towards Wi-Fi,  and the colours Green and Blue - green and blue being rare colours in Broken Hill, just in case you don't get my reference.

The only thing of note was the dinner stop in Lithgow. I walked through the McDonald's carpark where a bin had been kicked in or something and the side panel had fallen off. Inside was a black dildo. I don't know why I didn't take a photo - oh the lulz - but I have a witness if anyone comes at me. Just so you know, this is what it looked like:

The end.