Rebirth: The Acidic Truth

Rebirth is similar to this. Not really. (The acidic truth, get it?)

My last blog was three months ago almost to the day. I'm excited about writing about shit again so sit back, relax, or don't, whatever you do when you read my blogs is cool. Maybe my writing style, outrageous wit, and hilarious pictures make you tense and sweaty. If they do, you should maybe consider eating a kilo of cheese and a packet of double choc tim tams before reading this because that will almost make you as uncomfortable as what I'm about to say. You have been warned!



I've had an awesome couple of months. I've ridden more consistently than ever, and I feel really strong too. I wish I could race but such is life.

I'm not working more than one day per month, which makes me poor as fuck, but the upside is I have plenty of time to study, do assignments and ride my bike. It's actually really paying off (pun) because I've received some good grades and the fitness speaks for itself.


There's one thing I want to put out there, that is basically akin to admitting you like child porn (I don't like child porn - not even joking). It's the elephant in the room that we used to talk about in our immediate circles, but it's now reaching wider circles and over the last two months has reached its greatest ever heights. I'd love to have you guys try to guess it but this is a static form of media, so, guess what it is at home, and then check to see if you're right!

Did you guess yet?

Although I don't know who reads this blog, and once it's published I understand that everyone has access to it. However I'm sick of riding with a secret everyone knows but won't discuss openly or try to fix. And I believe there are still people who don't know how or why things happen.

Club politics.

Everyone knows what I'm talking about. And everyone is at some level, involved. Me included.

It's no where more apparent than in the corporate world. And it will honestly get you nowhere pretending it doesn't exist. It literally gets you no where. You'll find people taking credit for you work, lying to you and about you like it's going out of fashion. It's just life. It's human nature. Despite the fact that it doesn't always happen, it's still just the way it is, unfortunately.

I never realised it was such a big problem, not until Toby returned from the UK and explained how his club operated. It was just a bike club for people to ride their bikes together. And by no means is it a magic bullet solution either, we are what we are.

Here's a story I heard back in January. A member of Sydney Uni Velo Club was riding with me down the highway and was telling me about how he used to ride with Sydney Cycling Club. There was some kind of falling out with committee members about how the club was being run and a vote of no confidence was put forward. The vote was split down the middle with the existing committee winning some thing like 55% - 45%. Once that was decided, most of the members that voted no confidence defected to Sydney Uni Velo Club.

This very open dislike for the way things were operating clearly didn't end well for anyone except Sydney Uni Velo Club.

Toby spoke of a refreshing "don't give a shit" attitude, one bunch, ride decided on the day. These are the methods of his club, Zappi's.

All that aside, why can't our club operate on a transparent level? Complexity and vested interests is why.

Complexity is best represented as how you want to do a club ride to Manly. Yeah, why the donkey balls can't we ride to Manly? Roads are too tight, there are a lot of traffic lights and once it's close to 9am, there is too much traffic. Our bunches are large and it just becomes a nightmare. I get it, and I accordingly ride myself along the beaches at least once or twice a fortnight so I get the experience. It's just not going to be an enjoyable ride in a bunch.

I've had heaps of ideas for different routes that tick all the boxes of club policy, but none of them have come to fruition. The real reasons as to why they have never happened I can only imagine, but I have some pretty good ideas.

As an A bunch rider, I want/need things on a ride that the C bunch couldn't handle in a wet dream. That's not my or their fault in any form. And as our club caters to both entities, it's just bad luck. Or is it? Is it really fair that I'm punished for them? But what's the middle ground? Can we at least debate it? If you quell a group long enough, it always finds a way.

There is added complexity, the further down the spiral you go, the more hallways careen off the sides. As a group is repressed, it starts to find a way around the official method. If this involves organising its own rides, so be it. The problem: usurping the club. Is this wrong? No. Are you stealing members? Not unless you're starting another club. What's the difference between friends going for a ride on the weekend and riding as a club - insurance and a jersey. Would riding with your friends that happen to be in the same club on a Sunday be frowned upon? Yes. Would it become the catalyst to drama and spitefulness? Yes.

I just want to ride my fucking bike.

Pictured: bike riding. Also, clapping and pointing.

Finally, vested interests.

A little history : the only reservation I had before working in the bike shop was I wanted my riding to be separate from my employment. I made it clear that I wanted a great big black line between them. How long did this last? About six months. And really it was always going to go down this road. For someone who's life revolves around a business, there is nothing else for them. And that will always project onto others. There are very specific instances when this line was crossed, and at the time I knew it was happening, but when complexity is taken into account, my income is worth more than my values at this stage in my life. Although I never fully gave in either, I respected my obligations on all fronts.

What I'm pointing out is that even me, being as subjective as I can as much as I can. I still have a vested interest at times. And anyone in the bunch will know that that interest wanes between what's best for me, and what I believe is best for the majority.

Vested interests also takes the form of the famous, do as I say, not as I do. That oh so famous: he did it and it was okay, so I did it and it wasn't okay... then I got yelled at. This protection afforded to key people within the group is the dad watching out for his son in a game of rough football. It strokes the egos of everyone involved, and informs those outside of that influence, they are not part of that inner sanctum. Your immediate response is negative, but in the end, you want that protection and acceptance as well. It's Psychology 101. It's keeps you in line. Then when the time comes, you're afforded some of that protection, and you think you're in that sanctum, but you're not. And that's where you'll always be.

You're so obedient

Ultimately there are two groups of people. Those who enjoy riding their bikes, like being fit, enjoy the company of others in the bunch, and try to continue that outside of Sunday 7-11am. The second group see the actions of the first as an aggressive move to destabilise the club. The second group manipulates, misinterprets, and spitefully acts to cause friction to force the first group back into line.

I just want to ride my bike.

When I explain the club and the people I ride with to Helen, she gets it but thinks it's funny. When I explain to her that some of my best friends are dudes in their late 30's or early 40's with kids and wives and mortgages, that I spend anywhere from two to six hours per day, up to five mornings a week riding and drinking coffee with, she laughs. When these people that I enjoy being with are affected and through no fault of their own are shunned, I feel a responsibility to help them.

Helen, so desirable

I'm no white knight, I won't martyr myself for others, but I will sacrifice something to help others. And that's what cycling is, being on the front, sacrificing for the benefit of others.

I don't consider myself anyone special within the club, but I do have a link to the committee and to the shop, so that affords me some privilege. But in the grand scheme of things, I'm just another bum on a bike. But my privileges have afforded me some insight, and I've given this advice a number of times to different people regarding various situations. And on weeks of reflection, I can't better it:

Don't give him the satisfaction.

9000 internets to whoever gets this reference

Ride your bike and enjoy the fuck out of it. Sometimes that enjoyment is being deep in the box over some fucking berg and losing touch with the guys in front of you. Some people might laugh at you for that, but at the end of the day, your only vested interest is riding your bike, it's not getting back at someone for some trivial fucking bullshit that happened two years ago. And that's exactly what you're doing, riding your bike. Riding your bike in summer, winter, Sydney, Italy doesn't make you any better or worse. I've ridden my bike in Italy, it's amazing, but it's still just turning pedals over and looking at the road. You're not any more special because you can pull long hard turns and then attack the bunch. Being inside some special club can have its advantages, but it doesn't make you a happy person. At the end of the day, do what makes you happy, do what made you come here in the first place: riding your bike.

Now that that is over, let's have some more bike related pictures:

Fuck yeah bike riding!

Jonny Hoogerland, the next Jens Voigt?

The man, the machine: Philippe Gilbert

If we could all just ride our bikes and not give a fuck. If only it weren't that complex.