More unneccessary complaining

I keep getting asked to write a new blog. When I say I keep getting asked, the same person asked twice, months apart, and a second person liked both of those posts. BETTER WRITE A NEW BLOG!



Life has been exciting recently, finished uni, new job, bike riding. You know, cool stuff. But also some really fucking shit stuff. Like getting tendonitis. It took two or three months to go away. So I slowly built up my riding from a day here and there to a couple of hours per week. After a month I did two weeks a full speed only to come down with more of it's fucking bullshit weakness. So basically, it never went away.

The thing with tendonitis is that you never really know if you have it or not. Not having it is the feeling of normality. But at any moment it may just come back. There's no comfort in not having it. If you've ever ridden a bike down a hill in pitch black with a shitty little light, where it's so dark all you can really see is the reflection of cats eyes on the road; that's what tendonitis is like. All you can see are the spots on the road that you don't want to be near, that give you a guide to the general direction you should head in. So the only thing you can see, is what you don't want to be near.

Maybe that's too much of a stretch for people that have never ridden at night with a shit light at high speed. Basically, just because your tendon doesn't hurt, it doesn't mean you DON'T have it. The only way to know you have it is for it to hurt. Which means it's too sore for you to be doing what ever you're fucking doing with it. But you wont know unless you do it.

The jist of it is: I could take six months off cycling, have it feel perfect from month two but continue not riding. Then start up again, get through the base phase, and BOOM, mother fucking tendonitis. Why?

Doctors, expensive doctors, will just tell me to change my position, stop riding my bike, stretch, pray to Buddha more.

There's nothing more frustrating in the world than not being able to do what you love. I spent all this time waiting to get a job so I could go back to having normal hours and meaningful, productive days. But instead I'm a drone that sits on the train every morning before work, and every afternoon after work.

Everything I eat is wasted, it doesn't serve to fuel me to conquer hours of bike riding. I feel rested, but restless. I have nothing to do.

I'm not a professional racing cyclist, but I am a professional cycling. I ride my bike nearly every day, it defines me and my life. I do not enjoy being unable to turn my pedals, that is no secret. I would go as far to say that life fucking sucks dead dogs nuts when you can't do the things that make you happy.

More recently, however, I've decided to join SU Velo when my knee is healed. I'm not in denial that any club is perfect, but I can recognise a healthy, friendly, progressive club when I see one. SU Velo, among others appears to be one of these clubs. Peloton sports does not in any shape or form resemble a healthy club. It's an old mens' boys club for rich people who feel it is time to exert their power and wraith over others between 7 and 10 am on Sundays.

Helen, look.

I met good people along the way and it is a shame that we will seldom if ever ride together again. I also met some shit people that I am relieved to have seen the end of them in my life.

I rode with the club for 9-10 years and the only thing I regret is letting myself get caught up and become a part of it's toxic culture. I do not deny I benefited from it, but I do wish I had done the right thing sooner than I did.

The end.