Teamwork makes the dream work

3 - 2 - 1, CLEAR!

It's only been 4 years, come back to me you son of a bitch!

This is the sound of Kurt trying to desperately revive this blog. I think it's more like a chainsaw though, because my type of comedy is straight up the guts and doesn't give a fuck who you are, i'll shred ya. Side note, unless you have a weapon, in which case nah.




Was this piece of shit about bikes and bike riding? Kind of. Was it a mouth piece for me to spew my comedy onto the internet like tears in the rain?

Not these tears.

These tears.

Yes.

I'm pretty sure i once did a review on a Lord of the Rings though, so I guess it was never about bike riding. But bike riding is just what I also did.

Cycling is like an abyss. If you ride bikes, you slowly become, a ridden bike? Because if you stare at the crotch of a cyclist, the crotch of a cyclist stares back at you.

Piss off danger, don't tell me what to do

This is still my favourite ride of all time:

If you don't recognise the layout, it's what Strava looked like in 2011. Don't get side tracked though... 

The sheer balls I had in 2011 to do this ride blows my mind 6 years on. 

I took the KOMs on both sides of the Tomewin! Then rode an hour up the road and took the Springbrook! 5hrs! 29.9 average! I only fucken stopped at the top of the climbs for a total of ~10 minutes! I'm not even a climber! Side note two: in the years since my times have been relegated to the local league...

I wish i had half this motivation anymore. I honestly look back on this ride and I do remember parts of it, but I can't fathom it. 

Peak Kurt, right there.

Now I'm dad chubby but not a dad. I want to sit in the shade of my house and sleep. Eternally tired. I want to eat ice cream and finish episodes. Before you know it, it's 1130 and the dishes need cleaning and fuck, you need to brush your teeth. They're covered in sugar now mate.

Wake up at 750 and roll down the hill to work. Jersey fits a bit tighter every day. Stretches mate, it's fine.

Entropy. 

Everyday you lose a little of yourself to the earth. Sand particles rolling off your side. Flaking and drifting away from you. Like dropping a ball down a hill; you were defeated before it even flaked off, you can't stop it. Mate, just relax. 

Entropy.

At some point there's more and more parts you don't recognise. Less and less parts you try to mound and pillar around. Who even are you anymore? It's too late, Theseus' is on the phone mate. 

Entropy.

Dear Google, how to fight Entropy? Dear Google, best tactics for beating Entropy? Dear Google, accepting defeat. Dear Google, pornhub.