Rain = PAIN

It has become apparent that trainer sessions are all the rage. As if you'd want to go out in that rain? Really. I'd rather eat a block of unprocessed heroin. Does it come in blocks? I'm not sure. But trainer sessions are a little healthier than unprocessed heroin. I think.




Five days of rain really separated the committed riders from the flakes. Even people who claim to have middle names such as Discipline - I'm still sure it's Daisy - gave up on cycling for a couple of days to fight with their neighbours.  I took the flake route too, but it was harder then it looked. Sitting at my window watching squalls of rain roll through and splash in my ink black pool every 10 minutes disheartened me the way kids are at christmas when they are sure that massive box is a 1:1 scale Star Destroyer model but turns out it's just another donor and sheet set from grandma. I'm told to not bring that up anymore, but the pain... the pain...

RIDE HARDER BITCH

That's what happens when you don't ride, you get a lot of free time. Spending time with your family and friends is so 90's and we won't be doing it anymore! Because if it's raining, I've still got my ole trainer in the garage. An hour in there with some music pumping into your ears is almost the same as doing hill repeats. Some lucky bastards have computers and tv's hooked up to their trainers and can simulate riding in New York peak hour traffic or something. Others prefer to take the You me and Dupree approach and watch inspirational videos. The third group prefers to have some guy yell at them to do a TT effort for the next five years. That's how pro's do it, right? I'm in the fourth group, i open my garage door and watch cars and dog walkers go by my house. It's alright.


After a bunch of people were arrested for planking on their bikes on trainers, a new trend was started which consists of doing TWO trainer sessions in ONE day. EPIC. Did you see what i did there? I unleashed my caps lock. Far out, man.


I think the future of trainer efforts is taking mushrooms and pretending to race Mario Kart characters while locked down in your garage. Just putting that out there.


Until next time, more cycling, less drugs.