Month of Madness Blog 1

The great Month of Madness has started. Christmas Day was a rolling saunter through Galston and back up Berowra with biscuits and such at Bar Stelvio. Boxing Day (which according to the Federal Government is known this year as Christmas Day Public Holiday, and the following day is known as Boxing Day Public Holiday) was a lot more livelier gallop through Maraylya. Then Boxing Day Public Holiday was supposed to be a recovery ride to PITS, but for three of us, it turned out to be a HEADWIND SMASHFEST. Then Wednesday, which was just a regular day, was the PITT TOWN PAIN TRAIN!

Water Sports and Lord of the Spastic Society of Hobbits

This has too much hatred for me, but I'm going to
keep reading

I took a fishing holiday to the NSW far north coast, so I'll write about that. I hate old people, so I'll write about that. I watched Lord of the Rings and hated it, so I'll write about that. Come and share the hatred!

The first of many

The week before Christmas has been a week of post uni work relaxation. I'm so relaxed that I'm sick of it and have nothing to do. This time last year I was working so much I was run off my feet and had no time! How things have change. Not that I mind, it means I can get in some quality time on the bike, on the ladies and on the lounge (I can also do the last two at the same time [and when I say do, I mean put my male genitalia inside her numerous orifices]).

And now for something completely different

These are some oddly
shaped dicks. Sill, eat them

I would like to apologise for taking more than a month off writing my blog - I had assignments coming out of my ears and, exams and, and, yeah that's pretty much it. I know how much you guys love reading random funny shit and looking at same pictures. However, nobody mentioned that I hadn't written anything, so you can all go and eat a bag of dicks.

You Laugh You Lose part 2

7/10

Broken Hill - The End

I'm back on the job. Ready to be assimilated back into the masses, of 19 people. That's a mass! A trip to Silverton, an out of this world sunset, a massive meatfeast and the trip back to Sydney. On a bus. For 17 hours. I hope you packed your heroin son, you'll need something to pass the time. Will cards do? No. Damn. Well, what if I can't get any heroin? I don't know anyone who could get me heroin. Not my problem, should have thought of that before you left for Broken Hill.
I think this is the first time a dialogue has ever taken place in the summary.

Broken Hill - The Punishment

Serving my day in solitude. It really was harder than it looked. Everyone was extremely jealous. And I must admit, I don't see how it could have been anything other than a gift. It felt like I was the cat in Schrödinger's Cat Experiment. Left alone. In a box the size of the Earth.

Broken Hill - The Argument

Me vs The Establishment

Broken Hill - The Odyssey - Part Three.

Losing the flattened 20 cent coin to outback Australia is a kick in the pants administered by the establishment. *Shakes fist* Damn you establishment! I wont give up that easily! I wont!

Broken Hill - The Coin

A coin? How trite! I'm not even sure I give a shit. Part 2 of my Broken Hill Odyssey. Summary side note! Sorry (Not really) but these are factual blogs, and not my, laugh a minute, MS paint-shopped picture blogs. Sometimes a story just needs to be written in stone. No matter how shit and boring. Facts. Fuck facts! Learning is for wankers!

Broken Hill - The Arrival

That's comforting. Because I'm here to get lead poisoning

University has graced me with many adversities in three years. Poor subject recommendations, timetable changes and clashes, unfavourable exam times, knowledge, and field trips. This field trip was timed to prevent me from competing at Uni Games, expose me to absurd amounts of lead dust, and cost me a shit tonne of money. Will it be a positive experience? Does Australia not really suck? Are Broken Hillites suffering from a loss cognitive function due to lead dust?

Conception Day!

If you only party once a year, you should party more. But if you do only party once a year and attend Macquarie Uni, you should kill yourself - and remember, it's down the street, not across the road. But seriously, this is your day to Part A.

So many assignments

Assignments? Assignments! Oh man, so many assignments. Will they ever end? Probably when I die I won't have to do them any more. Hopefully.
In other news, it's September 11.

The Calga Classic is a classic

Fuck you assignments!

Sorry it took so long to pump this out. I actually wrote it last Sunday but since then I've been staying up late at night to work through my assignments. Third year assignments aren't any harder than first or second year ones; it's just that they take longer to do.

Warmer, warrmmmeeeerrrrr. Hot!

Oh shit oh shit oh shit...

So you're wondering what happened afterwards? Well, let me fill you in. Nothing. And I'm scared. I sneak around hopping nothing out of the ordinary will happen. Hoping that nothing bad happens to me. Like a spy, behind enemy lines, hiding, sneaking. Is it over? Is it really, over?

The Mullet part 2

100 internets to the person who
gets this reference

Part 2 of the history of my mullet. Part 1 was the beginning. Part 2 is the end. But don't be fooled for a second that the end signals happiness. NO! Far from it, the end is but the beginning of the crescendo. The final days of the mullet are filled with shame and defeat. Beware the mullet. Beware, it's evil power.

The Mullet part 1

The modern mullet. Staring thoughtfully
off into the distance is not included.

Last time I commented how I had given my self a mullet. Not a fish either, one of these bad boys:
Let me regale you in a story, a history if you will. This, is the history of my mullet.

Uni Games? Uni Games! Mullet? Mullet!

Another week. A bit colder than the last, but you know, it is winter and all that. It's time. Time to shine and stuff, yo. Here's my drawing of Mario and Luigi. Pretty neat huh?

Fiddletown, first week of uni, and DANCE RAGE!

Back to uni, back to work, back to black. Back to back. Front to back. Side to back. And finally, top to back. What does this even mean? Maybe the answer lies within? It doesn't though, I already wrote the blog, this is meant to be a summary of it, but it's not. I hope this clears things up for you.

A few days of Sydney

The view from my window

With all the fun over, sigh, it's time to go back to reality. Work, uni, cold and most disappointingly, the black pool in my back yard...

You laugh, you lose.

I discovered an internet phenomenon. It's amazing! There are rules though, so I'm not allowed to talk about it. But I have shifted through enormous piles of shit for these, and I want to share them with you.

A break, a whale, and a 70% pure fat cake.

It rained on Saturday and most of Sunday so I didn't get a ride in. Mainly because I smashed both the Tomewin and her bigger, fatter sister Springbrook - I don't need a wingman - so I felt complete.

Mountains mountains everywhere so let all have a drink

Mount Tamborine

Tamed

Another mythical beast tamed. Tamed? Or just endured?

An Alp Appears

SPRINGBROOK - 1000m of hello kitty.

Bunch time? I like brunch!

Two weeks of riding alone has me wishing that my invisible friends would shut up so I could at least get a word in. It's time for some bunch time. About time too, as I had forgotten what free wheeling felt like.

If life gets hard, go fishing?

Can't, leave, bathroom

Had another day off due to sickness. Not the kind teenagers have when they're cool, the kind you have where you're scared to be more than 20m from a toilet.

If bottom bracket sounds like maraca, go straight to bike shop

You know when something horrible happens to you and then it isn't just fixed, it gets turned into an absolutely awesome thing? Well, that's exactly what happened.

Babies

So I'm up here with my sister and her 1.5 year old baby. He can stumble around and mumble and say a lot of things that begin and end with ga. He likes to close things, doors and cupboards. If you leave one open he will be the door controller until you close it for him. He really can't do much without help from someone.

So I heard you like climbing. Some steep?

Mio Italiano e perfecto.

There's a back door way up to Mt Mee. If this back door is like other rear entrances, I'll enjoy checking it out... Enough with the butt hole innuendo - which is Italian for suppository...

KOM attempt

Suck it, bitches

Today was originally planned to be a 120km ride with two climbs, one pretty easy, and the second, EPIC. Except I had a deadline to be home and as I'm on holidays, I didn't want to leave home before 8am. Ahahahaha...

Going Norther

I had an enforced rest day yesterday. My saddle areas are taking a beating like never before. As I'm a rouleur, I consider myself that because you know, I'm all pro and shit, I use a hard, pro time saddle. But up here the roads are rough - "rough as guts" if my English to Bogan dictionary is correct. May as well have brought my mountain bike! Or a softer saddle, what ever. 

The Dirt Road

Hells yeah!

Some days, some days are just boring. Other days, well, they just plain look like this:

The Mighty Tomewin

Kurt takes me everywhere, and I'm
always rocking, FML.

Smashed it. One side is a fairly steep 9km climb, although not a true climb as it has a downhill section in the middle. The other side is straight up, 6.6% avg. The KOM hits about 340m. My 23 rocked out with its cock out.

Heaps warm in Queensland, aye.

It's so damn hot, milk was a bad choice.

Suck on it bitches. It's so WARM up here. Fair dinkum! So warm. I started my ride at 8am, at an all time double digit figure of 10 degrees. I went out with full finger gloves and arm warmers, that was it. No knicks or jersey.

Winter Holiday

It's that time of year again. It's stupidly cold and the sun doesn't grace us with it's presence until sometime after 7am. What a dick. And even when it decides it's time to throw some light our way, it doesn't heat up until after 8. Seriously, what a dick.

My Bike

So some of you know me, and some of you don't. There's a third group of people who don't know what's going on at all and just want to get in on the mushroom stash. To this group I say, derp.

Rain = PAIN

It has become apparent that trainer sessions are all the rage. As if you'd want to go out in that rain? Really. I'd rather eat a block of unprocessed heroin. Does it come in blocks? I'm not sure. But trainer sessions are a little healthier than unprocessed heroin. I think.